fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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