we have pet lesbian snakes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
