If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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