Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
