So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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