there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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