Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
