Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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