he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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