Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
