24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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