went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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