My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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