and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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