I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
