we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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