Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
