And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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