Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
