she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
