Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
