You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
