one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
