Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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