I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
