I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
