at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
