my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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