Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
