I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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