Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
