Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
