the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
