Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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