i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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