And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
