Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
