4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
