ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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