what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
