Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Randomize
