That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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