So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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