we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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