Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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