If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
