Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
