did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
false alarm, still single
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