I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
