dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
