Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
