Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
