She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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