i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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