I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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